Saturday 4 July 2015

RIVER BENUE




Lance corporal Idibia arrived the Murtala Mohammed International Airport in high spirits, he had been part of the United Nations Peace keeping contingent to the Sudanese region of Darfur. He and his colleagues had just been relieved by another battalion after spending close to a year under the harsh climatic conditions of the area, where waves of dust and regular whirlwinds were a normal occurrence.

Top on Idibia’s mind on arrival, was how to find the wife of his dreams, his 35th birthday was approaching and he knew it was time to settle down, but there was a problem, he wanted a girl with good moral upbringing, untainted by the greed and immorality that comes with city life. As a soldier, he was known for his up rightness and high moral standards and he concluded that the city was not a place to find one.On a trip to Oturkpo his home town, he shared his burden with
Maria his elder sister who suggested Ochanya, the daughter of the village priest, she was the poster girl for chastity in the village. He accepted her recommendation and sought the family’s approval to marry their daughter.
On his next visit, a wedding date was fixed, and few weeks later the wedding took place to the delight of both families and Idibia returned to the battalion with his new bride Ochanya. Nine
months later, Ochanya gave birth to a baby boy to the delight of her Husband and the family was doing quite well.
Trouble started when the child fell sick and hospital visits became regular. At 20 months old the child was diagnosed with AIDS, Mr Idibia was stunned! He knew he tested Negative on return from peace keeping mission, and never had any sexual relationship with anyone outside marriage! How could his child be HIV positive he argued. He and his wife were later screened and the results came back positive.

Shocked and enraged Idibia confronted his wife who feigned ignorance of how the family came about the Infection.As the controversy raged on, an enlarged family meeting was summoned by the village head with both families in attendance.However, the meeting ended in a stalemate as both families pointed accusing fingers at each other.

The controversy was not resolved, until Ochanya opened up to her mother on her death bed, she told her that on the day before Idibia came to ask for her hand in marriage, she had sex for the very first time with Ogaba the village church choirmaster who died of AIDS six months earlier, with tears rolling down her eyes, she pleaded with her mum to forgive her, as she lay helpless on her hospital bed coughing intermittently.

I come from Benue state, North central Nigeria where the virus continues to ravage many communities, not because governments have not intervened but because our people have refused to change the lifestyle that brought us to this pitiable state, our actions has ensured that we made headlines for all the wrong reasons.
Sadly, many others have copied our dangerous lifestyle which has transformed farmers who previously cultivate large hectares of farmland to paupers. With sky rocketing rates of teenage pregnancy and alcohol induced suicidal behaviors, the world expects more from a state that prides itself as the food basket of the nation.


Quote

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to

create many ripples.





THE PHONEBOOK


Debby has been having sex with Mr Offia her home lesson Teacher,since she was 10 and became pregnant for him at 14.Neglected by her busy father and isolated by a mother who cares more about money making than raising kids, she sought solace in the arms of Mr Offia who consistently took advantage of her In her attempt to terminate the pregnancy using a local concoction, she fainted and was rushed to a hospital.
At the hospital, she was diagnosed with acute liver failure due to the injection of poisonous
substances; the doctor also informed her parents that she was carrying a child.

This unexpected turn of events triggered a series of “tsunamis” that altered the life of the family forever. As the doctors were battling to save her life, her situation got worse as she started bleeding from different orifice and lapsed into coma.

This prompted Debby’s father to seek the intervention of law enforcement agents, who lunched a full scale investigation into the incident.

As they searched through her room, in a bid to find clues as to why the 14 year old will want to take her own life, they stumbled on an SMS sent to her mobile phone directing her on how to use a concoction to terminate the pregnancy.
However, the identity of the sender remained a mystery as the phone number saved as “My Chocolate” could not be traced to anyone.

While the police were trying to unravel the chocolate mystery, Debby’s situation was getting worse, the occasional movement of fingers has not happened in three days and the family was becoming increasingly worried, while staff of the intensive care unit of the hospital continued to assure the family that they were doing all they could to ensure that their daughter pulls through.
After several days under the close watch of doctors and nurses,Debby eventually died, leaving her parents in a state of devastation.

As her corpse was been conveyed to the mortuary, the police Invited her father for a chat, they have been analysing Debby’s phone records and have discovered a pattern of calls made by
a certain number registered to Mr Offia but saved as Mary on Debby’s phonebook.

Mr Offia was eventually invited but he feigned ignorance of the abnormal phone book entry, stressing that his relationship with the deceased was purely academic, which manifested in her improved results at school, a claim he said could be substantiated by the deceased parents.

With no substantial evidence linking him to the death of the Teenager, he was let off the hook and allowed to go home. But the Police detectives believed he knew more than he was willing to admit, so they secured a search warrant and stormed his residence and to the relief of the team the search produced the “chocolate” sim card the police had been looking for as well as some of Debby’s personal belongings.
Mr. Offia was later charged to court and is presently serving his sentence at a prison in Koton karfe, kogi state, Nigeria.

As I’m beginning to find out, parenting is no child’s play, it could sometimes determine whether couples continue to live together or go their separate ways. No matter your temperament, your teenage child will drive you to the limit.

In my years as a teenage teacher and instructor, I have seen parents leave their homes so as to escape the torment and pain of trying to correct a teenage child.

The surging hormone makes it difficult for teenagers to view issues logically, making them increasing emotional. This is an aspect of teen development that is difficult to understand. Nevertheless, studies have shown that the frontal cortex of the Human brain does not develop until a person is within their twenties; the brain of a teenager is therefore a work in progress.

Building trust and openness is important if any relationship is to succeed. This also applies to the relationship between children and their parents, as children approach their teenage years, these surges in hormones and pressures from peers combine to make the teenage years the most challenging period for most parents.

Nevertheless, as I have discovered over the years, most parents tend to isolate a troubled teenager which further complicates an already difficult situation. Friendship, engagement and innovatively deploying activities that help teenagers channel their energy and redirect their anger are some of the pathways that have helped several parents find the rhythm in their quest to achieve a balanced relationship with their children.

A complex world of intrigues and power play among couples has combined to deny young people the love and attention they truly deserve, more and more teenagers are leaving home to peer up with bad influence which eventually lands them in jail for the lucky ones and six feet under for the not so lucky.

The Media and the internet have taken up the responsibility of molding the young ones amongst us, leaving us to pursue the careers we treasure. But in the end we will all pay the price for the moral mistake we all combine to initiate and live with the repercussions of raising a generation without values.
Directly or indirectly, we owe these kids the responsibility of letting them know that they are loved, and that despite the barrage of challenges they face in a world that is constantly changing, we will never turn our backs on them.


Quote.
We may not be able to prepare the future of our children, but we can at least
prepare our children for the future
Franklin D. Roosevelt

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